Combination of Awesome Explosion Special!

The past few weeks have been tough times for me. First, I basically lose a job because it actually turns out I didn't graduate from my university somehow, then I realize I don't have a table and that's why using my computer has been TOTALLY SUCKY, and then I get really hungry. Faced with such difficult circumstances, perhaps a weaker-willed man would've simply given up, thrown their proverbial hands to the proverbial sky, and resigned themselves to the unemployment, back-pain, and slow death from hunger that awaited them. Not I. I'm made of sterner stuff.

Lacking any immediate solution to not having a degree, and hence being ineligible for a work visa in Japan, I decided to sort out the desk problem first. My reasoning was that if I could use my computer comfortably, the internet would surely bless me with an answer! Immediately, I set to work:


Obviously this is the most kick-ass table ever. Patting myself on the back after a hard afternoon's work, I headed out to address the hunger issue. I found a nice little curry place, and proceeded to do what I do. Sated, I went to leave the store, but was stopped by one of the workers. What was this? A gift? For me? Why yes, I'll take this rape whistle, sir, and by god I WILL LOVE IT.


Having accepted this totally sweet rape whistle extended to me as a gift by the natives of this wonderful land, I made my way home, mind awash in a rare abundance of nutrients. Of course, when I got home the desk totally collapsed, but fuck it, I bought a real one. Oh and I still didn't get a degree or a job. The End.